focus on life–week 46–reflect

Ok we are now entering the point where soon we will be counting down those final weeks, some of the busiest of the year to be sure.  I so hope I can make it the whole way!  I’m not sure what I will do without Sally’s thoughtful weekly prompts and all of you to share it with. I’m reflecting already and I haven’t even gotten to the point where I tell you this weeks prompt – reflect!

This morning I wrote my post for the art charm swap and auction in support of Beads of Courage.  Since it was really meant to be about the art charm I made, I was a bit abrupt when I said:

My child started her life in hospital and the first time I held her we were skin-to-skin and overtop was a handmade quilt.  I’ve experienced arts in medicine – it is important.

Today that quilt sits in a little wooden cradle.  That cradle was made for me by my dad when I was about 3 or so and always held the same baby doll.  Averleigh plays with that doll at my parents house now but oddly doesn’t show much interest in the cradle at home.  But our special quilt sits at the ready.  It seems that every baby born into the NICU gets one, I didn’t get to pick it myself since I was in recovery at the time.  It breaks my heart to think of those who are left with only the quilt.  It also hurts to think of all the small ones who are collecting beads of courage one by one. I know how lucky we are.

focus on life–week 21–reminisce

This Sunday Averleigh turns 3.  Based solely on the word Reminisce – the moment I saw that prompt arrive from Sally – I thought man, how did she know! How did she know I would be thinking a lot on the recent past this week.  Last year when she turned 2 I wrote a bit about her birth here.   In even quicker words, she arrived way early, way tiny, way dramatic and way beautiful.



I thought I’d share some of the unusual things in her little memory box of things.  Averleigh weighed 750g about 1 lbs 10oz and was less than 13 inches long.  It’s hard to really convey how tiny that is.  The diaper on top is like a maxi pad, it had to be folded down twice to allow room for her umbilical line [rather than an IV if they are quick about it they can use the vein and artery in the umbilical cord remnant instead].  Sitting on top of it is one of the hospital “bracelets” she had on her ankle that slipped off.  Then there is the cork from the Champagne we popped on her zero day.  The day that was my due date we celebrated with a very small party.  Just cake and balloons with the Grands and one of my brothers and sister-in-law (her guardians).  Underneath you can see a set of leads, these would be changed routinely so at some point a nurse stuck a set on, what seemed at the time, a massive diaper (small). 

I never did get a blood pressure cuff, she went through a couple of sizes of those. That seems odd to say but the cuff itself stays in the isolet with the babe, they each get their own.  There are other odd memories, like weighing her diaper.  I recall fetching one back from the trash when I didn’t know she was back on a diuretic, the nurse was just about to update me but I had been too quick to get my time with her.  Premature babies really need dark and quiet so you aren’t allowed to bug them.  Averleigh was feed every two hours at the start but you could only touch her every four.   She was four days old when I held (skin-to-skin for warmth) her for the first time and it was for just about 10 minutes.  I was heartbroken the next day when that nurse wouldn’t let me.   I found out later that first nurse probably just took pity on me as I had to leave the hospital that day.  Normally they don’t let them out to be held until they don’t have that umbilical line, because you cut out all sorts of infection risk if you never need an IV or a central line.  The umbilical line was there to feed her, she wasn’t getting any milk yet then.  I realize the memories are fading a bit since I can’t automatically tell you what day they started – I can tell you it was 1 cc.

Sunday we are having a party in the park with friends.  We are going to play, have a little buffet breakfast with lots of toppings for some Eggos (I cannot remember the last time i had one), lots of fruit, muffins, and of course cake.  It’s rained all week but I’m certain we will get some sun to celebrate our born feisty girl.  I like that every year I get a whole bunch of happy memories of her birthday to edge out some of the originals.

Ok, time to head over to the Studio Sublime and see what Sally Russick and the rest of the gang got up to.

ps.  I promise to share pictures!
pps. I know I kinda cheated, that it's not my childhood - but this is the real focus on life this week!

Memories and Thanks Blog Hop

If you are looking for my Focusing on Life picture this week find it here

 

Welcome to my contribution to the Memories and Thanks Blog Hop.  If you have been hopping along then you are likely familiar with the impetus for this hop.  I was quite touched (and in case you aren’t familiar) I will let our host Lori Anderson tell you the story in her own words.  I am looking forward to the wonderful stories that everyone will be sharing and the jewelry that will be full of intention.

 

My focus: a thank you. 

 

The backstory.  I have a 2 and a half year old daughter named Averleigh.  Like all children she is special and awesome.  Part of her little life story so far is that she decided to arrive a few months early, in emergency fashion, weighing a mere 1 pound 10oz, and almost 2 inches longer than Barbie if you can imagine.  Preemies in a nut shell, can have issues in all parts of their body since hey, the deal is supposed to be 9 full months, with zero gravity, practical darkness, and muffled sound.  That does not describe a NICU.  Delicate brain capillaries can burst and bleed, digestive systems can’t handle the workload and lungs well, they are the last major system to develop so they really aren’t ready and just aren’t very efficient.  All things considered, Averleigh pretty much skated very close to the line on major issues but kept going forward. 

 

Edit- to add Averleigh pictures: then (about a week old) and now

 

It is quite common for preemies to have speech delay so it was on my radar from the start. When she wasn’t hitting milestones according to her adjusted age (ie calling her 3 months old according to her due date -  not according to the fact she had a birth certificate issued 6 months ago) I took her for a more involved assessment.   Several other evaluations followed and eventually a course of action was decided upon.

 

The creative inspiration.  With a starting point of red and cardinals and all the imagery of eggs and nests to go along with it I set about making some beads.  I started with the imagery inspiration since at that time, I did not have a particular person in mind.  Ideas grew and I decided that someone important had really helped my little bird sing.  I am referring to the speech pathologist most involved in our speech therapy journey.  I say “our” as the particular course was mostly directed at me and my intensive learning in a classroom with other parents.

 

I’m looking forward to watching Averleigh wow them all with her progress at her next follow up in February. Which will be the perfect time to offer this very valuable person in our lives a little gift.

 

 

I thought these earrings loosely symbolised my little bird taking flight and singing in ways that were hard to imagine not so long ago.

 

But WAIT.  How could I have missed something so obvious?  The corner stone of the method I was taught is an acronym O.W.L.  Observe, Wait, Listen.  I can’t give her a pair of eggs she needs an OWL!  At this point it is well beyond the 11th hour to share with you all but I do have until some time in February to share what will be her real Thank you.  Here is a little glimpse at the star of the show…to be continued!

 

 

Thank you so much to Lori for sharing this wonderful intention, to Marianna whom I would have surely been honoured to have known and to Lena for letting us all know her momma.
 

Hostess, Lori Anderson Pretty Things
Adlinah Kamsir Dream Struck Designs
Aimee Biondolillo Aimee's Jewelry Treasures
Alicia Marinache All the Pretty Things
Andra Marasteanu Handmade by Indra Marasteanu
Andrea Trank Heaven Lane Creations
April Grinaway Brooklyn Bead Goddess
Barb Solem Vivi Magoo Presents
Becky Pancake Becky Pancake Bead Designs
Beth Emery Stories by Indigo Heart
Bonnie Coursolle Jasper's Gems
Cassi Paslick Beads: Rolling Downhill
Catherine King Catherine's Musings
Cece Cormier The Beading Yogini
Chandra Leitz Juniper Goods
Charissa Nesler FireStorm Designs
Charlie Jacka Clay Space
Christina Hickman Vintage Treasures Jewelry
Christine Stonefield Sweet Girl Design
Chrizette Bayman Bead Soup Mix
Cindy Wilson It's My Sea of Dreams
Crystal Thain Here Bead Dragons
Cyndi Lavin Beading Arts
Debbie Rasmussen A little of this, a little of that
Denielle Hagerman Some Beads... and other things I like
Diana Gonzalez Arte y Poemas
Diane Hawkey diane hawkey
Dita Basu ankarshilpa
Donetta Farrington Simply Gorgeous
Dyanne Everett-Cantrell Deeliteful Jewelry Creations
Emma Todd A Polymer Penchant <--you are here, thank you for that!
Erin Kenny beadiful therapy
Erin Prais-Hintz Treasures Found
Gina Hockett Freestyle Elements
Gloria Allen Innovative Dreams Jewelry
Heather Marston CSW Designs
Inge von Roos Inge's Blog
Jacqueline Marchant Fiddledeedee Jewelry
Jami Shipp Celebrating Life!
Jean Yates Snap Out of it Jean, There's Beading to Do!
Jennifer Reno Musings of a Crafty Jenny
Jenny Robledo Peppa's Dream
Jennifer VanBenschoten Jewelry, Art and Life
Jessica Klaaren Cellar Door Jewelry
Jessica Murray Whimsical Monkey
Joan Williams lilruby jewelry
Jo-Ann Woolverton It's a Beadiful Creation
Joanne Browne josjewels1
Jodie Marshall Jodie Marshall Lampwork Beads Wearable Art
Johanna Rhodes Fire Phoenix Creations
John Rasmussen Rasumussen Gems and Jewelry LLC
JuLee Wolfe The Polymer Penguin
Julie Bean Blue Pig Blog
Karen Mitchell Over the Moon Designs
Karin King The Sparklie Things Blog
Karin Slaton Backstory Beads
Kat Douglas Washoe Kat's
Kay Bolton Toodles and Binks
Kelly Hosford Patterson The Traveling SideShow
Kim Ballor Vitamin C ... A Daily Does of Creativity
Kim Dworak CianciBlue
Kim Houston The Pink Martini
Kym Hunter Kym Hunter Designs
Laren Dee Barton Laren Dee Designs
Lea Avroch LA Jewelry Designs
Leanne Loftus First Impression Design
Lena Adams (Mari's daughter) -- TBA - *update* Lena's Beady Blog
Liddy McLaughlin Liddy McLaughlin Art
Linda Florian Lily's of the Valley Jewelry & Creative Creations
Linda Inhelder Must-Haves Jewelry
Lisa Hamilton Simply Irresistable Jewelry
Lisa Suver Fancee That
Lori Bowring Michaud Artfully Ornamental
Lori Poppe Adventures in Creativity with Lorillijean
LouAnn Elwell Southpass Beads
Mandi Effron Craft-o-licious
Marcia DeCoster MadDesigns
Marcia Dunne The Alternative Foundry
Marie Covert Creating Interest
Marjorie Savill Linthwaite bennubirdrising
Marlene Cupo Amazing Designs by Marlene
Martha Aleo Ornamento
Marti Conrad Marti's Buttons -n- Beads
Mary Ellen Parker BeeTree by m.e.
Mary Govaars MLH Jewelry Designs
Mary Lindell Mary Lindell Artisan Jewelry
Maureen Connolly Mrs Beadsley's Workshop
Maybeline Tay The Jewelry Larder
Melissa Elgin The Addicted Beader
Melissa Mesara one-eared pig beads
Menka Gupta Menka's Jewelry
Michaela Pabeschitz la mar de bonita
Mischelle Fanucchi Micheladas Musings
Mona Rae Baroody Who Does She Bead She Is?
Nan Emmett Spirit Rattles -- Spirited Earth
Nancy Pedersen Something Heartfelt by Nancy
Natalie Davidson NorthShore Days
Nikki Douglas Bead It and Weep
Pam Farren re-maker
Pam, the Crazier Sister The Crazy Creative Corner
Priya Krish Hellopalz
Rebecca Anderson Song Beads
Rebecca Sirevaag Becca's Place
Robin Kae Reed Artistry HCBD
Rochelle Brisson a creative chelle
Sabine Dittrich perlendschungel
Sandi Volpe Sandi Volpe
Sandra McGriff Creative Chaos
Sarah Goode Pookledo
Sarah Singer String a Song of Sixpence
Serena Trent All Things Made Jewelry
Shai Williams Shaiha's Ramblings
Sharon Palac Sharon's Jewelry Garden
Sharyl McMillian-Nelson Sharyl's Jewelry & Reflections
Sheila Davis Stone Designs
Shelley Graham Turner Fabric of My Life
Sherri Stokey Knot Just Macrame
Sherry Baun Unicorns Jewels
Skylar Bre'z Brising Beads
Stephanie Haussler Pixybug Designs
Tania Spivey Moobie Grace Designs
Terri G. Blooming Ideas
Terry Carter Tapping Flamingo
Terry Matuszyk Pink Chapeau Vintage Jewelry
Toltec Jewels Jewel School Friends
Tracy Kruse Goldkisses Art
Tracy Martin Nutkitten's Jewelry
Zia Parks Anzi~Panzi's Work Shoppe
Zoe Marcin Beads, Tea and Sweets

If there is anything you can do…

I’m deeply saddened to hear of the lose of two little babies, born too soon and one more little boy still fighting hard.  These triplets were born to the owners of Sinarin Silver whom I don’t know personally but the story touches me so, as I myself am mother to a preemie.  At her smallest Averleigh was a mere 640g (about 1lbs6oz),  I remember sharing that number and often hearing back some version of “think of a pound of butter”.  I can tell you that that is a little hard to hear.  People are just trying to get a grip on what a baby that size really looks like, I get that, I know there is good intention there.  But. What I know as the fragile strength and determination of a child born early is just not compatible with inanimate objects, like butter.

I promise you I’m not bitter, but want to express that sensitivity to words.  I am a bit paralyzed in finding words to comfort and encourage this couple.  But I’m fumbling through this post to spread the word following the lead of Fusionmuse Tanya.  She shared the story on her blog and is offering a giveaway with multiple opportunities for you to participate.

Here is her very generous prize



I hope you will visit her post and spread the word to offer whatever support you can.
I’d like to add some resources which I found invaluable.  I found them when Averleigh was probably about a year old and wished I would have had them before then.

Life with Jack is a blog born out of a series of emails that Jon the dad wrote to keep family in the loop. (Actually I think Jessi had the blog, but there was a significant shift in focus).  This story is incredible. Both parents are engaging writers and Jessi, the mum, is an incredible photographer.  I’ve followed along for the last year plus and Jack is just an absolute  inspiration and lesson in joy.

The Inspire preemie support community is also a wonderful place for those touched by prematurity to connect.  In particular I wanted to add this for the parents because of the Preemie Angel board. 

I will be thinking of this family.  Thank you for reading.

Are you beating the heat?

I hate the cold, and I share that fact with anyone and everyone in the winter.  Like, a lot.  So I really try to never complain about the heat, seems only fair.  I’m sitting in central air while I write this so it’s not all that hard.  I really feel for those who can’t get any escape from the heat when it’s oh so hot day after day.  So the other evening, after being air conditioned all day I had to head outside for some heat.  Averleigh had to come too, of course, as that girl would love to live outside.  Our neighbour had the sprinkler out and fully dressed in mere seconds she was running through it.  She was being so cute I reached for my cell phone to snap some pics quick and put it away before it got soaked too (since I just had to join in, once).  I completely forgot I had taken the pictures.  I went looking for another picture today and found this


I’ll spare you the whole string I fired off.  It’s nothing fancy, or technically strong. It made me stop dead in my tracks though. That's my girl with a long shadow and it’s the first time I’ve ever caught her in that context.  It brought me right back to the day she was born and how thankful I was that my husband and I had opted for iPhones, for both of us, the Christmas before.  As she came by surprise, and I saw her only for a split second.  If my husband hadn’t of had a cell phone with a camera on him that day (he arrived at the hospital in softball gear, from the field) he wouldn’t have been able to take and text me that photo.  I wouldn’t have had it to literally cling to for the 12+ hours it was before I got to see her,  – when I was supposed to  be “sleeping”….

Today I’m thankful for cell phone cameras, sunshine and little girl shrieks of joy.  That beats any heat.

Strange days

The minutes are clicking down to 12:01 May 26. That's the moment I heard my daughter first scream.  I barely caught a glimpse of her as the nurse full on ran out the room with her.  My husband and I just stared at each other, mostly.  It was like every emotion I was experiencing I was also experiencing the flip side at the same time.  The series of events that brought us to that moment were from the mundane to the emergent.  I could write volumes really, but my head spins a bit with it all so I'll spare you the hyper detailed rant which is how I remember it.  

Averleigh showed up 10 weeks early and quite unexpectedly, as in I worked until 2 pm that day.  Not only was she early, but basically she had stopped growing probably several weeks before her birth.  I had almost no amniotic fluid left and she was the size of about 25-26 weeks, not the almost 30 weeks she should have been.  I was sick with nausea and vomiting my whole pregnancy but everything seemed fine with her the whole way until it suddenly wasn't.  It was as simple a thing as when I lay down to bed the night before her birth, she didn't do her normal kicking.  Instead it felt like she was turning a different way.  I had an OB appointment the next day so I thought, huh, I should probably mention that.  She didn't think much of it but suggested I go to the hospital if I wanted and just sit with a monitor for a bit and make sure everything was fine.  So I did. What was supposed to be 20 minutes, turned into an hour, then "a little while longer" then... we've booked an ultrasound.  That became here's a steroid and an ambulance to take you to a hospital with a level 3 NICU.  By the time I was hooked up there I could really hear the monitor, I could really hear the gaps where there was no heartbeat.  Within the hour I was having an emergency Cesarean. 

Then time dragggggged like never before.  I had to listen to someone else giving birth and joyously celebrating the arrival for over 2 hours, in the room next door.   Then I was moved and told to get some rest. Uh yeah sure.  I didn't sleep for one second.  I didn't get to speak with Averleigh's nurse, by phone, until about 10 am.  Now that is torture.  The 56 day hospital stay that started that day was no picnic either and again I could write volumes.  There would be way more swearing than is probably appropriate too. 

Hm, I've got 1 minute left.  Think I'll end here to say I gotta get some sleep since there is a little girl who will be celebrating being 2 tomorrow and I couldn't be happier about that!